Although I'm excited to be done this term, getting a little closer to being a graduate of University, I feel a little disappointed in myself, mostly for some of the work I neglected in this class. Not to say that I don't think I did well in this class and learned a lot about ethics of video gaming, I did learn a bunch, however I did not keep up with my Journal entries as much as it was requested. I did, however, try to post at least one significant post a week in the lair, on my blog, or in my learning log, but still I feel disappointed in myself. I think I may have not done the weekly self evaluation because I got side tracked with other work and sometimes forgot. Sometimes when something isn't mandatory I have a hard time making time to complete the task. This isn't only for school work but for my chores in my personal life too. It is something I need to work on in my life I suppose. I have been thinking of why I get like this when other people don't have a problem with remembering stuff to do, even remembering things in general. I think that it is because I get distracted easily and I always have something on my mind. I have trouble focusing, as I mentioned in the 100 things about me project that we did earlier this term. I think if I can learn to relax and focus my thoughts on one thing at a time then move on to the next item I will be more productive. So I've started given this a try and it seems to be helping.
Recently I found that one way to overcome this task neglect/forgetfulness is to keep a schedule and a task list. I have been making sure to write all appointments, meetings, dates, etc in my phone's calendar, which is also synced to my Google calendar on the computer. This way I am reminded about what I have to do. The task list I have has also been helping a great deal as I write all things I have to do, when they need to be done, and order the list by importance. I found this helps me focus my time on one project at a time, instead of jumping around from task to task.
I am wondering if playing games caused me to develop this multitasking ADD as I like to call it. If my difficulty focusing on one thing at a time has been influenced from playing MMO style video games. The reason I think this is because in these games there is several skills to work on, several things to do, and lots going on. To make the most of my time in games like that I try to find the most efficient ways to do things, which usually has me working on 3 or 4 things at one. For example I may be walking from point a to point b. Along the way is a monster I can kill, a treasure chest I can loot, and maybe a tree I can cut. So right there is 4 tasks at hand; travel, kill, loot, chop. My mind isn't focused on one direct thing, I'm thinking of four things at once. Also during this I may be getting private chat messages from friends, and other people may be talking in the public chat, all of which I'm trying to pay attention to as well. While playing I'd usually have music playing on my computer which is another thing I'm trying to focus on. My mind is constantly racing and changing subjects when playing these games. It may be possible that this constant change in thought pattern developed some form of ADD such that I need to multitask.
I know I've read in a few places that the internet is rewiring our brains because of the constant bombardment of snippets of information and constant redirection of though. Could this not be applied to games as well? I wonder if there has been any research done on the matter and if so what kind of results were found.
This week, for fun, I search some more writings on self critique and found this one of some interest. I especially like the quote "No one is ever going to care as much about your story as you do" What I like most about this quote is that it pretty much say no one is going to care about you as much as you do. I think we are all guilty several times in our lives about being selfish or self centered. The most important person in our lives should be yourself. However this fact sometime causes people to be arrogant or needy towards others. In other words we like to brag about ourselves or expect others to help us out in times we need them. In most cases people are happy to hear about our accomplishments and help us out, but we cannot expect this kind treatment. I am the kind of person who will almost always help someone out when they need me, and in turn I expect the same treatment back. This usually doesn't work out as, like the quote suggests, no one is going to care as much as me as I do. I've realized that I can't expect people to always help me out when I need them to. They have things to do too. And, although they care about me, I'm not the most important person to them so they are going to help themself before helping me. Because of this I am going to be more self reliant and not expect things from others.
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